The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die.
May you rest in peace.
11/09/77 - 04/01/08
Family
Until Kyle called us this evening, we didn't know about this blog. And now that we've read it, we are overwhelmed at the feelings shared. We always loved Robert (Bobby to his family) but we had no idea how many people's lives he had effected and how many people loved him! We cannot express in words what an emotional event occurred in our family as we read your thoughts. Now I type through my tears.
As some of you know, Bobby suffered during his school years. He was diagnosed ADHD because they didn't know what to do with a brilliant child whose mind flew at the speed of light. Taunted and bullied for having a brain instead of braun, he was often beat up in the parking lot of the high school. He finally dropped out.
Your thoughts, typed here in black and white for the world to see, have brought a righteous vindication for our wonderful and talented son. What an uplifting current you have placed us upon, and it will continue to carry us through some very rough times. We can never say "thank you" enough.
We will be bringing our son back to Cedar City Utah for burial. His funeral will be Tuesday, 8 April, we would be honored to meet you. [Email
ocyrus@hack3r.com
for address]
May I make a small request - that this wonderful page stay up for a little while. I will put the address on the funeral program so others can read and come to know our wonderful "Bobby".
Thank you and love to all of you at this time
- Bobby's Mom
There is a reason why a father names a son after him. You want the world to know that he is yours, that you gave him roots but the wings to fly. I can not express enough the comfort, and yes pride, your words bring to Carol and I. We had not idea his wings were spread so wide and that he touched so many lives. This is a part of his life we appreciate so much that you would share with us.
There are so many of you we never had the honor to meet and I know your a long ways away. But if you do make his funeral service on Tuesday, please introduce yourselves (I use the plural here because like Bobby many of you have several names your known by) and give us a hug. We want to look in the eyes of those who loved our son and thank you all for your love and the influence you had on him
I miss my son, my buddy, my friend. I wish so bad I could call him again and start our conversation the same as we always did: "Hey bud what are you doing?" "Nothing Dad, just being a bum" That was his way of telling me he was on the computer and our conversatin would take place at the same time he was in a quest on World of War Craft (if thats what you call it) or writing some program or whater it was he was doing in the world of cyber space that he loved so much. And it was OK, for as you know a simple conversation was not enough stimulus for Bobby. Multi-tasking and taking everything to the next level was where he needed to be. Again, I can not thank you enough for sharing your thoughts and his life with us.
Bobby's Dad
Hi, I am Corey Allinson. Robert (Bobby) is my older brother. My Mom pretty much covered how your comments have moved our family. I had to post something to express my gratitude and set my mind at ease. My brother is an amazing person; sadly there were few in our family who could truly relate to his brilliant tech. mind. I had to have my wife help me send this message for god sakes. Away from the keyboard he sometimes felt like a fish out of water; but logged in, he was teaching the dolphins how to swim. I love my brother and I thank you all for taking the time to write about him.
I can not find the words to truly express the emotional rollercoaster I am on right now. I knew Bobby when he was still Bobby... even before I started dating his brother! I saw a side of him that most of you haven't.... and then I saw him become a wonderful person. I often told my big brother how proud I was of what he had done & become. He is an awesome person. He has overcome so many of life's little hurdles. I often wished that I could take some away from him. It always seemed so unfair. He was the big brother I never had... and I was his "favorite sister-in-law." He taught me how to wakeboard. I'm pretty sure that I would have given up after the 15th attempt if it wasn't for his encouragement. I couldn't wait to show him this summer that I have finally mastered the jump! I still haven't grasped the fact that he has left his physical form. Every time my computer crashed, he was the first one I'd call if I couldn't get it fixed. And, what do you know, he always had the answer!! (even if it was "Sorry Dez, you need a new hard drive.... again!") I want to express my personal appreciation for this awesome tribute to a phenomenal person. I can't describe the emotion that it evoked in me. I love you Bobby. Always. "Peace Out Big Brother"
Loves & Kisses,
Desiree
Words cannot express the feelings we have gone through these last few days. Such a bright, extremely talented, loving, and wonderful person has been taken from us. Reading your words and memories about Bobby have brought us comfort and I wanted to say thank you for that.
My brother, my friend, your work here is done. If only you could see how many people's lives you have touched. Not a day will go by that you wont be in our hearts and in our thoughts. You will be greatly missed. May you finally be at peace.
Shelle
I'm Bobby's cousin, David H. Honestly, I haven't talked to Bobby in a VERY long time. Although my family keeps me updated, I feel like I only knew Bobby as he was during the first half of his life. I miss him. I'm due for a major family reunion, but it won't be the same anymore. I waited too long, and now I have to wait even longer to see him. You'll be missed Bobby.
David
I'm Bobby cousin, and when my dad called and told me the news my heart broke. I hope that I make sense when writing this, my thoughts are a little scattered. I have always felt closest to Bobby out of all my cousins, maybe it was because we were the same age, or that we could just relate to each other. I keep thinking about all the fun times we had growing up together. Many of hours at the cabin and at Grandmas. Lately my thought have been back with those times. I was able to get in touch with a few of my cousins, and Bobby was next on my list. Oh how I wish I would have gotten in touch sooner. I would of loved to let him know that I was thinking of him, and how much I loved him. The older I get the more I realize how important family is, and how much I have missed being close with everyone. Uncle Bob, Aunt Carol, Shelle, Corey and Dez, I hope you all know how much you mean to me and how my thoughts and prayers are with you. Love,
Lacey
I am still at a loss for words!! Bobby and I were tight growing up...always getting into trouble at the family parties. We just always seemed to click. I am going to miss him tremendously. I am ashamed that I did not stay in touch with him more in our adult lives. Just about a month ago, my father and I were talking and Bobby came up in our conversation. I asked him to get me his number but didn't have a chance to followed up. When I got the news about Bobby I was, and am still, devastated. I will always remember the good times he and I shared. Bobby had the heart of a lion and would give the shirt off his back for his family and friends. There is so much I want to say but just can't seem to type.
Bobby, I love you and will always miss you! Rest in Peace till we meet again.
Your Cousin
Steven S.
I wanted to post a thank you to all of Bobby's friends. Ii have been so blessed to see him grow into the special man he became. As Dusty said in his posting, Bobby always pushed the envelope and that has left me with many fond memories. I remember the big smile when he would figure out a new way to do something. His head sticking out the top of the camper as Dad drove us to the cabin, finding new Indian paintings in the west desert, playing WOW or Red Alert or whatever the game was at the time. He led me in the direction of computers and influenced my life in many other ways, but it all comes back to the big grin he always had there waiting. He will be missed, but will live on in each of us as long as we still see that smile and remember all the gifts he has left behind. I will miss my brother!
-Shane
I'm Bobby's Aunt Valerie. Bobby had the biggest blue eyes when he was a baby. I teased asking if he'd ever grow into those big blue eyes. He looked so much like my father, his grandfather who passed away about two years ago. As a toddler and teenager Bobby was hard to keep up with, his mind was always 10 steps ahead of everyone else. After some rough teenage years, Bobby was able to channel his ADHD and love of computer hacking into his dream job. He was a hoot at family reunions. He touched so many lives and I'm thankful I learned about this web site. What a wonderful way to celebrate his life.
"In a harbor, two ships sailed- one setting forth on a voyage, the other coming home to port. Everyone cheered the ship going out, but the ship sailing in was scarcely noticed. To this, a wise man said, "Do not rejoice over a ship setting out to sea, for you cannot know what terrible storms it may encounter, rejoice rather over the ship that had safely reached port and brings its passengers home in peace." And this is the way of the world: When a child is born, all rejoice; when someone dies, all weep. We should do the opposite. For no one can tell what trials await a newborn child; but when a mortal dies in peace, we should rejoice, for he has completed a long journey, and there is no greater boon than to leave this world with the imperishable crown of a good name.
Bobby, it was too short a journey. We will all just have to listen a little differently for you and talk a little differently to you, but know you will always be in our hearts. Thank you for touching our lives.
Aunt Valerie
Hi I'm Jeanne' I. Bobby's cousin, I last saw Bobby at our Grandfathers funeral. A few of us cousin's hung out at my house and we caught up on old times. It was so much fun to be together again as adults. My memories of my cousin's and Bobby being a big part of my memories were spent at my grandparent's house. We use to have so much fun playing on the swing sets, trampoline, playing hop scotch, pool and dancing to the old juke box. I love and miss those times so much it's so fun to remember them. Bobby will be missed very much by everyone who knew him. I will most defiantly cherish those sweet memories last year that I got to spend with Bobby at the hospital and my house. He had such a sweet spirit about him as a young man succeeding in life. My prayers are with my Aunt Carol and her family at this time, I love you guys! Bobby, I am thinking of you very much, you will be missed by all of us. I love you and may peace be with you on your new journey..
Love Jeanne
My heart broke when I heard the news that you were no longer with us and has continued to break over these past days!
My thoughts have been reminding me of past memories - of times spent at family parties, chasing you, Steven, & Christian around, trying to keep you all out of mischief. Then more recently to the time spent hanging at Jeanne's house when you were here for Grandpa's funeral. What a fun spirit you have and what a great person you grew up to be!! I only wish we could all have more time with you!
Though many years separate us in age and in the times that we have spent together, I want you to know that you will always be in my thoughts and you always be loved and missed by us all!!
Sail on Bobby! We will all see you again some day!! Until then - Peace be with you!
Love Forever,
Your Cousin,
Christi
As I am sitting here thinking of Bobby I am remembering his early years out at the cabin. He loved to climb the cliffs there across the creek. He loved to climb King Solomon and look for Indian writing. He loved to drive the motorcyle and wheelers up Heart A Beat and around the little coral Grandpa had made so many years ago. He loved to look for Easter eggs, even those that froze and popped open from the bitter cold. He loved to swing from that old oak tree (on the rope that he climbed to the top of the tree to attach.) He loved to explore with Shelle, Corey, and his cousins. He loved to tease his grandpa and grandma. He loved being there with his mom and dad. (He loved everything out there but the crickets.) That is the part of his life I was a part of. Thank all of you for writing about the part of his life you were part of. I am grateful to read of the lives he influenced, of the people he helped, and of all his computer friends. I'm grateful for the man he became.
Aunt Launa
So many memories are flooding our minds right now. But the one we keep seeing is our Bobby when he was so small peeking through his dad's legs. All we could see were those enormous blue eyes and that smile. Oh, we will miss him so. Just a few weeks ago we received a call from him. He said he was thinking of us and just wanted to make sure we were ok. He said he sure missed everybody and was planning on coming home this summer to see everyone. He said he really wanted to go out to the cabin and spend some time. He wondered if we got a chance if we could run out and get some pictures of the cabin to send to him. He loved it out there. Bobby had a very loving and caring nature. We already miss him so much. Bobby, we love you lots.
Grandma and Grandpa Allinson
I just wanted to share a few words about my cousin Bobby. We were the same age and had a lot of fun at Grandma & Grandpa Scharp's house. For a while he was at my High School with me, although we didn't hang out, it was still fun to see him during brief moments in the halls. I'm glad that I was able to see him at Grandpa's funeral and at Thanksgiving and catch up on his "computer" accomplishments. I'm still in shock about this sudden news and my heart goes out to Aunt Carol and Uncle Bob. We'll all miss Bobby, but I know that he's been welcomed by our loved ones on the other side, and who nows, they might been in great need of some computer tech support over there.
Cousin Clark
EPiC
Friends
If you have something to say, email
ocyrus@hack3r.com
I will put it up.
1."Rest in peace Robert. I owe you too much gratitude and respect to make words for all that you shared with myself and others. You were EPiC in name and life and I am in debt to you for sharing that with me.
while(true) { "4/1/08"++; }" -minion
2. "I can't describe well enough in words what I feel right now. Bobby and I were beyond good friends, we were brothers. So many things to share, but the thing about him that stands out most to me is how much he cared for his friends and always let us know that he did. If he didn't see me online for a few days, he would always give me a call to see how things are and let me know that he missed me. I will forever miss him." -Ryan
3. "Dreams are created and dreams change but dreams can never fade as long as they are not forgotten. EPiC, you will be remembered!" -Kr0nos
4. "Bob, George and I started Surreal Ideas back in 99 with a lot of dreams, even though it never took off the way we had hoped I learned a lot from Bob. I regret that I hadn't kept in close contact with him for the last few years. He will be missed!" -Dirk
5. "He was one of the few." -Chris
6. "I knew Robert for a little over a year. We worked together at Office Depot and became close friends. We shared the same taste in music, literature and a quest for knowledge. I found out today that my friend had passed. I am speechless, so instead I copied some lyrics from one of Rob's favorite Grateful Dead songs, and one we just listened to the other day at work.
Stella Blue:
I've stayed in every blue-light cheap hotel Can't win for trying Dust off those rusty strings just one more time Gonna make em shine It all rolls into one and nothing comes for free There's nothing you can hold for very long And when you hear that song come crying like the wind it seems like all this life was just a dream Rob, keep a light on....I will see you in all good time."-Carl
7. "Rob, I will miss you so much. Thanks for making me laugh everyday and bringing me "presents", making my days happier, and work a better place to be. I can't believe you are gone. You won't be forgotten!!!...With love, Jen
Did Not Die
Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn?s rain.
When you awaken in the morning?s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.
I am not there. I did not die.
Mary Elizabeth Frye"-Jen
8.
"Pals"
-George
[Updated]
"Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless..."
9. "Thanks Robert for the fun and memories. It all started with the LOTD Tribes, tech support, late night pizza parties, and the first days of hack3r website - almost 10 years ago." -Scott
10. "I wont ever stop singing your praises, I wont ever forget you." -Love Caiti
11.
I wrote my blog post here
-ocyrus
12. "Epic was someone that was more then a friend, he was someone that put his whole heart into his friends if he considered you a friend then you were loved by him... When I was first informed of the news I was in complete disbelief.. I went to his parents house and knocked on the door.. His father opened the door and I immediately burst into tears just by looking at his father I knew that my brother was gone.. I did not want him to move to Salt lake because I would miss him and I would barely ever get to see him.. I talked with him about moving to Florida and I thought it would be the best thing but I did not want him to go. A while back he was in Salt Lake and I was able to see him there with you[ocyrus] and I was happy to see him even though he locked himself out of his room AGAIN. I constantly thought about him and never reacted on my urges to call him. I saw his father the other day at the store and it made me think about him and I wanted to call him, but I did not call him.. I will miss him more then I will ever be able to say. I do know that any pain he was suffering is over and he is now in a better place.. I do not say goodbye my friend, I say I will see you on the other side soon, I love you.." -Josh (Grimmie)
13. "I thank god for getting the chance to know you. You were a great person and always showed a positive outlook on things. I'm gonna miss ya bro." -Sani
14. "I'll always remember you, epic. I'll miss throwing Skittles at you, and all of the text messages you'd send to make sure I had a good day. I keep remembering the good times. You were such a dork, and we all loved you for it. There's more to say than words can ever express, but thank you for the countless smiles, and for being the amazing person you were to all of us. You made a difference in so many lives, and we miss you so much it hurts." - ziphie
15. "This is hard. What do you say when somebody you love leaves this earth? Rob was...well...Rob. I shared a lot of laughs with him and many a tear. We talked about love and loss, about music and booze! He made me smile, he pissed me off. He was everything you could ever want in a friend and more. I can't believe I'm never going to look at my cell again and have it say "What are you wearing?" This was our joke....the answer..."A thong!" Just to say hi. Just to say, "Hey, I'm thinking of you." I'm going to miss him terribly and this is going to hurt for a long damn time. So, I raise my glass of wine, smile and say, "Rob, I hope you now have the peace you deserved more than anyone I know. I love you and I'll miss you. Big hugs and kisses!" - Liz (otherwise know to Rob as 'Paddycakes', LOL)
16. "Robert, I have you to thank for my best days gaming online. Even past that you put the effort in to keep in touch and stay friends. You had all the qualities of a great leader and used them to bring happiness to people. I've looked up to you since, your charisma and dedication inspired me to get into what I'm doing today. Safe travels, don't forget to gank a few souls on the way home." - Dan (BurnHavoc)
17. "It's funny how little I knew you on a personal level... outside of brief IRC sessions and some fun with a box I hosted only you could break... yet... you still hold largest influence for my love of security and code. Here is to you and all those you've left... *beers up*" -Plamzatic
18. "I'm in shock as well, but here goes... I didn't know Erinys nearly as well as some, but I do know he was an all-around amazing guy. Almost always happy and energetic whenever he came online - especially for world pvp and old school AVs. MC? BWL? Wouldn't have been close to the same without E there. He definitely helped make this game an addiction for me for those first 1 1/2 years I was playing. Erinys, you will be sorely missed. The next time I'm drunk BGing, especially if it's with some old school BLers, first beer's to you E. Then I'll go squash a squishy with Sulf for you. Cheers man. To his friends and family, my prayers go out to you. " - Klober
19. "When i first heard this i couldn't believe it. Theres not much i can say that hasnt been said, but I know personally as Boark said MMO's will never be the same for me now. E had a special way of adding that little spice to games that few people can. Even though he may not be out ganking newbs with us, i know he will always be there to /spit with us in spirit." -Shadowpatch
20. "Robert, you always went out of your way to help people. Even when they didn't deserve it. What more can be asked of in a human being? I loved hearing your war stories, I enjoyed having someone to talk to about security, but, even more, I enjoyed your perspective on life and what's really important. I'll miss you." - Tammy
21.
"My friend - I'll remember the good times. I've forgiven the bad times. Your death is heartbreaking. Your life and influence on our lives is inspiring. You are one of us and I will always remember how kindly you welcomed me as one of you. Thank you for introducing me to my husband and giving me a family. Thank you for always remembering us on holidays and everydays. Of all things in your life you are not afraid to let it be known that your friends and family are first and foremost. We love you Bobby. We miss you. You live on through all the lives you have touched. May we all remember the good and follow your example to let those around us know they are loved."
-s3k
22. "Ojoe, Ata, Erinys, Epic. I knew you by a lot of names, but the one I was the most honored to know you by was Bobby. You were a great friend. Always watching out for the "little guy". The first time we met, you defended me and my crazy CS keybindings, and you've proved to be a man of great values ever since. No matter where I followed you, you were always looked up to as a leader, or even a father figure. The number of people you took under your wing and introduced to an amazing circle of friends is countless. I'm at a complete loss to know that it will be a lifetime before I get to talk to you again. I'll miss listening to you go off on late night ventrilo about the noob rebels or the 12 year old alliance. But most of all, I'll miss having someone to measure myself up to. To look up to. You lived an amazing life, one that I hope someday I will be able to say I lived up to. Until we meet again Bobby. GL HF and GG." - Craig (losT cAuSe)
23. "EPiC, from hack3r, has been a major influence in the lives of many people around the world. He started and grew the security group Hack3r and its sister Roothack. I first came in contact with epic in December of 2000. I was a social misfit and loved computers. He and his group took me in when the rest of the world rejected me. He helped me in my darkest of days, putting my weight on his shoulders. He taught me most of what I know today. Epic, I owe my life to you. I wouldn't be where I am and who I am without you. I'm sure countless others can say the same thing." -Lattera
24.
"You taught me alot about friendship and family. A founding and driving force behind BL, I wouldn't have half the vision and motivation I do today without your influence. Thank you for sharing your life with me. You are missed."
-Gpunk
25. "Hello, I am Kyle Brownings father, Thane. My wife Denise and I wish to express our condolences at the loss of your son Bobby. Although we had not met Bobby in person, he certainly was considered by us to be someone Kyle had been graced to have cross paths with. We first heard of Bobby, known to us as Robert, after an earlier Defcon event where Kyle, in his teens, was accepted onto his team. They did very well, and it was one of my first outside acknowledgments that Kyle had the ability to run with the big dogs. Robert had been an influence on Kyle before they ever met because of the work Kyle witnessed online from "Epic", and continued to be a strong influence from that point forward. I believe their friendship was a not only a case of mutual respect of the others abilities, but also a natural case of great minds think alike. Reading your statement about his youth is understood by Denise and I. The ADHD, ADD, whatever letters the medical types apply is something that I wish the world could, or would wake up to. While the world appears to not know how to take advantage of the inherent abilities early on, we must wait for, and hope ours sons and daughters find that path to utilize those assets. I know Bobby and Kyle both were running down that dream. These people with the multi-tasking minds are amazing. I have to think my way through a problem whereas they just go to the solution. Kyle said in his statement how Robert was one of the few that really understood how his mind works. Our son has lost a mentor and great friend. Reading through the blog, there is no doubt Robert touched many people, and I hope he understood the positive effect he had on many souls. What an asset to the world we have all lost in the passing of your son. Denise and I hope you will take comfort that Robert was respected as a leader, a very intelligent man, a team player, a good man, and a great friend to those he touched.
Peace be with you and your family.
" -Thane and Denise
26. "Epic, we are suffering a great loss with your early departure. But I sincerely appreciate the great and good influence and inspiration you were for my son over the last few years. Words cannot describe my appreciation for your friendship and leadership that you shared with him. The entire community suffers with your loss. I hope to know you later." -A Dad.
27. " I worked with Bobby in utah. Then he got me a job at office depot in florida. I can't express what bobby meant to me. He was truly my guardian angel. He was so dang smart. There was not a question he couldn't answer. I have often felt overwhelmed at work. Bobby was always there. Whenever, I wanted to quit or give up, he was my voice of reason. He built me up. He was so generous with his knowledge. He was my protector. I felt like he was a little angel on my shoulder. I could do anything with Bobby by my side. Bobby cared so much for his friends, for his family. The last few weeks, I have heard so many stories about his family. I heard about his dad, who was his idol. His honesty, his integrity. His amazing police stories. I heard about his mother, his best friend. His long phone calls with her, how excited he was when she learned out how to send him gmail chats. "Mike, come look, my mom learned how to chat. I love her." Corey his brother. Another idol. A cop like his dad. I would hear stories about corey and bobby out on the town, and how much bobby looked up to him. and how nobody would dare messing with those two! His sister in law who he was so proud of her accomplishments the schools she got into. His sister, who he would literally do anything for. His nieces and nephews and their WOW accomplishments. He touched everybody he came in contact with. I love bobby, and have no doubt we shall meet again." -Mike
28. "Since the time I got my first computer, a friend of mine, VG4000, introduced me to H3C website and IRC channel. Back then, when I first entered to the H3C channel, I felt so dumb reading all the messages about stuff I didn't even understand. Epic, as I found out, was the Òchief commanderÓ of the H3C website. He acted so normal and so humble even though his knowledge surpassed by far my scope and limits. Always there when you needed a hand or guidance through the learning path you needed to follow. I didn't have the pleasure of having a ÒfriendshipÓ with him, but still, I feel like I lost a friend, a guide, a person admired by everyone. Epic, rest in peace my friend. Show those angels how to use a computer and impress them with your knowledge and love. " -Statik
29. "The community and dynamic that epic helped create not only helped my through a dark spot in life, but put me on a technical track to become a life-long learner. The hack3r community was one of openness and communicationÑthere was no such thing as a stupid question. It's unsettling that Epic's wealth of knowledge and open mind will no longer contribute to the online community. While my relationship with him was distant and informal, he touched my life as a role-model and a friend, for that I should be grateful." -Jesse
30. "Too many tears, too many thoughts and memories that rushed in and prevented any coherency in writing yesterday. So I sit here today still trying to find the words, knowing that words will never convey the love and intensity of our relationship. But I'll try.
31. "Epic/Robert/Bobby, (I STILL preferred "Robert!"), I would like your family to know how much you mean to our whole family. If it weren't for you, my husband, of seventeen years would not still be alive and our family destroyed. You gave us and understanding of addiction, and how to remedy it-4 years later, and he's still clean! The endless hours of phone conversations at all hours of the day and night was a constant support and strength through such a difficult time in our lives. We all send our love. Your parents should be proud to know that their son saved at least one man's life and kept a family together. As for our personal relationship-I've decided that words can never convey the intensity we shared. As much as you think I helped you; you helped me soooo much more! Now I wish I would have called more and said nothing more than "I Love you." My heart is still beating out of my chest, I'm still crying and I don't expect this pain to end any time soon. I know we'll find each other again but it doesn't stop me from missing you 'today'. And as you had titled me "hack3r mother goddess".. I'll sign off
Love, The Hack3r mother goddess"-BlackOrchid
32. "Just a couple weeks ago we were conversing about good times an challenges we faced together, and joked about taking over the world. Seems almost surreal to me that will be the last time I will have to converse with Bobby. Bobby Started with Slackware 3x. I remember him telling me how long it took for him to download through dialup showing me a stack of floppy disks. Over the years his knowledge grew, and I watched him leapfrog my skill level. He gained my respect and admiration. I'm saddened by his untimely passing, and incredible loss of talent. I knew him on a personal level and worked with him daily for over a year. I do not believe his death was intentional, he would have reached out to one of his close friends as he had done in the past. You will be missed" -Robert
33. "You are my mentor. I love you man." -Sinone / Marcus
34. "Epic, you were always a good guy. You helped create the community that I've associated with for years, and because of this have indirectly caused some of most moving parts of my life. It's hard to believe that one of the people in H3C that I've known the longest isn't around anymore. For as much or as little as it means, I'm going to miss you, and I only wish I could thank you for the things you've done." -IceMouse
35. "God bless you, Bobby..." -Rebecca
36. "I wish I could open my memories and share with you all the Bobby I knew. He and I had a unique connection that changed my life from the first moment I met him. He truly is the most amazing person I have ever or will ever know. Bobby had a way with words that made you love him and hate him all in the same sentence. His passion for what ever had his attention at the moment overfilled him and spilled onto those around him. He was a burning ball of energy that you almost didn't dare touch but you couldn't take your eyes off of either. These past couple days I have seen exactly how much my life has been affected by Bobby's influence. Everything I see or hear or smell brings back a memory of him. It is hard for me to understand how I am suposed to live without him. I can't believer I will never hear your laugh again. One memeory I feel I should share now is one that happened while we were driving up to my families cabin. The CD we were listening to at the time was Alice in Chains the song was Down in a Hole. He told me then that he would like that song played at his funeral. Slightly morbid I thought, but also very descriptive of the internal battle that constantly haunted him. I am not sure how appropriate it would really be to play it at a funeral so I have decided to post the words here.
Bury me softly in this womb I give this part of me for you Sand rains down and here I sit Holding rare flowers In a tomb...in bloom
Down in a hole and I dont know if I can be saved See my heart I decorate it like a grave You dont understand who they Thought I was supposed to be Look at me now a man Who wont let himself be
Down in a hole, feelin so small Down in a hole, losin my soul Id like to fly, But my wings have been so denied
Down in a hole and theyve put all The stones in their place Ive eaten the sun so my tongue Has been burned of the taste I have been guilty Of kicking myself in the teeth I will speak no more Of my feelings beneath
Down in a hole, feelin so small Down in a hole, losin my soul Id like to fly but my Wings have been so denied
Bury me softly in this womb Oh I want to be inside of you I give this part of me for you Oh I want to be inside of you Sand rains down and here I sit Holding rare flowers (oh I want to be inside of you) In a tomb...in bloom Oh I want to be inside...
Down in a hole, feelin so small Down in a hole, losin my soul Down in a hole, feelin so small Down in a hole, outta control Id like to fly but my Wings have been so denied
Bobby I will find you were we promised to meet. Your Sunshine Daydreamer" -Heidi
37. "Bobby, I know that we hadn't talked much in these last 4 years or so, but every now an then on ICQ you would say hi and see how things are. We had many good times that I will always remember. I wish I took the chance to thank you for showing me a world that I didn't realize was so vast. I had a love of computers before we met, but after you showed me the endless numbers of doors that there were to open I thirsted for more. It all started when I helped you build my first computer, and journeyed up to last year when I received my Bachelors Degree in Computer Science. Its that thirst that you passed to me, and that thirst grows every day. You inspired me then, you still inspire me now, and will do so forever; thank you for showing me your world.
You will be missed by many, and I am one of them.
Until we meet again"
- J.D. (pandasar / elysium)
38. "You opened a door for me, to a world full of possibilities, probabilities, and excitement. You are my definition of 1337. I will never forget you, and the things you have taught me over the years." -rOAch
39. "Bobby ... We lost touch but I always expected you would be there for the next great game release. Ready to game away until the early morning hours when play became sketchy and Vent went goofy. I still expect to see your ICQ login at any moment. It's weird for me, surreal still... Either way, I intend to keep you a part of my gaming to keep things "epic."" -Brent
40. "For anyone who didnt know Bobby Allinson,
BOY DID YOU MISS OUT!
This man enriched the lives of every one he touched. He sure did a number on mine.
The difference between family and friends is that friends, are the family that you pick. I would like everyone to know of what a wise choice I made about 17 years ago when I met this punk ass kid with braces, named Bobby. The adventures we have had and the times we shared have helped shape me into the man that I am. I feel truly blessed to have shared kinship with Bobby for half of our lives.
This guy was all about "taking things to the next level". Overachiever? You want to talk about a winner? Bobby didnt have a job, he had a hobby people payed him allot of money to do for them! On a personal level I think that this page is a testament to the kind of allegiance's Bobby built.
The death of Bobby has cut me deep. I mourn his loss, however his life should be celebrated. not to do so is unfair to him. I love and respect Bobby Allinson. It is an honor to have been his friend.
Dustin Waite,
Dusty
fetusgrubber
phetus
41.
bl00k/Darren wrote his blog here
42. "i have the wonderful good luck to say i knew bobby... he was a dear friend to my children, sean and caitlin, who met him through chance cheek (who is now married to cait). he and sean had a great deal in common... those amazing minds, quick wits, dear souls. he was always kind to me, and took great pleasure in the 'your mom' jokes they told when i was or wasn't around. he was one of the boys that gave my own boy, courage and support...and friendship. who was a surrogate big brother to my daughter, always a gentleman around her. i never understand why this is, why we, as parents, have this to face... i cannot in my darkest dreams fathom how you feel right now. i can only offer my memories of a young man, who made me laugh, who was unfailingly kind, who gave my own lost at times boy a friend. bobby was, and is, a good bright place in my memory of my children growing up in cedar. thank you for the amazing gift you gave the world... i know our lives would have been so much less without him.
- Karen Vohs new york city/cedar city
43. "It was a bleak time in my life when I met EPiC. I had just been released from incarceration for computer tamping and computer trespassing. I was the first case in the state of Indiana since Fry Guy. Mostly everybody computer related turned their backs on me after my conviction. I went from the straight A top of the class, to the kid that nobody respectable wanted to associate with. It was around this time that a man named EPiC searched me out and requested to talk to me. He had learned about me from a group called BlackCode and found out that I had all but abandoned my own group, SOLDIERX. EPiC gave me the motivation to resurrect my group and even offered to provide me with free bandwidth for soldierx.com - a favor that I was never able to repay him for. He described the need for a yin and a yang of hack3r. He felt that the black hat SOLDIERX could provide the yin for the yang that hack3r provided. Of course things didn't end up working out like this, but we had one hell of a ride. I think my most favorable moments were doing the Truth Radio with EPiC. It was a free internet radio that we had come up with and collaborated on. I remember telling him that I thought he sounded like Pauly Shore. I think his reply was a cheery and stretched out "aweeesome" or something to that effect. EPiC was just the kind of guy that was nice to EVERYBODY no matter whom they were or where they came from. He did favors constantly, and never expected any kind of return on the things that he did for others. There were many years that I did not really speak to EPiC. I remember that I always got to see him at Defcon, and he always had a smile on his face. He impressed Captain Adegbite of the NSA so much, that while he was unable to give EPiC a government job - he still kept in contact with him incase if he saw any openings. EPiC was truly a unique and warm hearted individual, and he deserves to be remembered for all of the kind things that he did. Luckily for me, after years of not really talking - EPiC reached out to me on March 26, 2008. We had a long conversation about life, work, and of course - computer security. I'm glad that I was able to have that conversation with him... I don't know if I would have been able to forgive my lack of communication if I had learned of his death without having one last recent conversation.... I hope that whoever owns the hack3r.com domain will let it live on in his honor. Circa 2001, EPiC, HyperViper, and I were trying to help hackers.com be rebuilt in memory of HackingWiz. For whoever doesn't know the history, HackingWiz owned hackers.com and he ended up passing away. His wife gained control of the site and decided instead of letting it live on in his memory; she was going to try to make money off of it. We tried very hard to get control of the site, due to our belief that his wishes should be carried out. We failed in gaining control and the site died with HackingWiz. Please do not let this happen to hack3r.com. EPiC wanted to see his community flourish. I hope and pray that this will happen in his memory... May you rest in peace brother, you will never be forgotten. "
-RaT
44. "You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he has lived. You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all he's left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see him, or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him only that he is gone, or you can cherish his memory and let it live on. You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back. Or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on. Until that day,"- Kyle L.
45. "I didn't know you for all that long, but the time I spent with you was always exciting, interesting, and usually mind opening. I'll never forget the life lesson you gave me on the top of Brighton. I hope we can meet again in the next life. RIP." -durant0s
46. "I don't know if any single person could sum up the millions of ways that Epic has changed our lives. Even still as I set at my computer trying to hold back the tears I find myself wanting to better myself, so that one day I may touch the lives of others as Epic has done to ours. Epic did just that he knew how to touch your life. He listened to your desires and helped you in any way possible. A few years ago Epic moved into our apartment. During the time that Epic lived with us I had many challenges that changed my life forever. Epic opened up his heart when I needed it most. He helped me bring my spirits up when they had fallen lower than before. It is truely because of his willingness to listen that I am proud to say that I remembered what was truely important in my life. On November 22, 2003 I was seal to my wife in the temple for all time and eternity. I owe a piece of that most sacred moment in my life to you. Epic my friend I am comforted to know that I will see you again someday and be able to tell you in person how you have effected my life. So for now this is not the end of something but the beginning of something much greater. Until we meet again.......gg"
-Kelly (PeePee)
47. "Blake told me today to check the hack3r website because Epic died, I thought it only right to compose a short note. Some of you that have been around since the beginning would remember the name: Conundrum. I ended my connections with Epic and everyone else here years ago. I know Robert meant a lot to a great many people and I would just like to pay my respects to a man better than myself." -David
48. "Even though we never met in real life you still taught me a lot. You shall always be remembered" -wild
49. "Hello, My friend emailed me and told me about Bobby. We all went to school together about a million years ago. Well.. not really a million but it sure feels like it sometimes. Junior High and Highschool is when we all kicked around together. There was quite a big group of us that were pretty tight. My friend Marin and I were usually the only girls in the group but we always had a great time being one of the boys. I'm quite sad to hear the news, even after all this time it still hits you like a ton of bricks. Bobby was a really great kid and he was always so great to me and we always had a blast... getting up to no good probably! It's an absolute shame to hear this news. I now live in Australia, otherwise I'd would attend his funeral. Unfortunately due to distance I can't but please know my thoughts are with his family & friends. Sincerely," Summer S.
50. "Dear Mr. & Mrs. Allinson, My name is Jason Record, and I worked with Robert when he worked at Novell. I was more of a colleague and associate than a close friend. So, I write to you as one parent to another. My heart goes out to you. I have a ten year old son with ADHD, and so Robert's story and those he touched throughout his life has struck a familiar cord with me. My son is quite impulsive and reacts with outbursts of rage and anger to some of the simplest of problems. We have seen him loose friend after friend. I have often wondered what his life will be like, and how I can help to shape my son's direction so he can have the fullest, happiest life possible. I know that Robert struggled, but we all do in different ways. However, I have found comfort in reading the wonderful impact he had on other people. The kindness and love he shared through his life. I am grateful for his example, and thank you both for the years of struggle and love you gave Robert. It has given me hope, as I continue to nurture my own son. Just days after Robert passed away, I was contemplating the many entries of people touched by his life. It was during this time, that my son wrote this paragraph unprompted, titled My Parents. "My life is the best life of all because I have the best parents in the world. My parents teach me the gospel and when I'm sick they comfort me. I am so glad that my parents teach me the gospel. My parents are like angels coming down from heaven. My parents are the best parents in the world. I love my parents." I'm sure Robert would agree and would declare you as the best parents in the world, and like angels coming down from heaven. May God bless you and your family, and may you find continued peace in knowing what a wonderful impact Robert had on other people's lives."
-Jason
51. "Bobby and I met during the more troublesome times in his life. The time that we spent together may have been brief, but we spent it together every day and every night and i learned alot about him. He is one of the most beautiful people that I have ever met and I will always love him. He has always had and still will hold a special place in my heart. It's been nearly a decade since we have parted ways and today my heart is heavy. RIP, my friend, I love you and you will always be my Drama Bob. Thanks"
-Teresa
52. "I've known Epic for 6 years, and that wasn't nearly enough. He was a great Immunix team member in Defcon CtF where I first met him, a great co-worker at Novell, and a great friend. I can't believe he's gone." -Crispin
53. "I know that I only knew him through a video game, but 2 1/2 years of playing video games with someone is indeed a long time. I have said it before "Blunt Logic was the most fun I have ever had in a video game". I know that he is in a better place and will no longer have to suffer the highs and lows of life. My prayers go out to everyone who was close with E. " -Mordemus/Crepitus
54. "I met EPiC at dc13 while competing in ctf. In a strange turn of events I found myself allied with his team and he was my point of contact. He was always high-energy and positive, encouraging and defending others. I am very sad to hear of our loss. Please convey my condolences to his family. Sadly Yours" -atlas
55. "My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you on this difficult day!" -John F.
56.
"......I still remember when we met. Sluffing classes and smoking cigarettes. From that moment on we were inseparable. You were my best friend, my partner in crime and my first true love. It is inspiring to see how many people you have touched over the years. I would like to think that the time we spent together had something to do with the man that you became, but I'm sure that you would have been awesome with or without me...... on the other hand, I know that I owe a part of myself to you. I regret that we didn't talk more or have the chance to walk down memory lane together one last time. One day maybe we will get that chance. Until then, my friend, peace be with you and your family. I love you Bobby! XOX"
-Mary aka LOonar
57. "Epic created a family of friends and will always be remembered as a inspiration to all. I met Epic at Defcon 8 and visted him in Cedar City when he started a wireless ISP and he was always learning and starting something new. His legacy and community will live on. Writers never die." -Chase (Tricker)
58. "I first found the hack3r community in what must have been early 2000, it was a welcoming and open environment in it' prime that fostered for many of us a desire to learn and expand our thirst for knowledge on so many levels. At the for front Epic was always there to mold the path many of us have come to now call our careers, he was an instrumental figure that always wen't the extra mile to help people grasp a topic or engage the community in activities that bettered us all. A perfect example of this is the roothack labs, a controlled environment that allowed us as a community to peruse active hacking techniques in a legal capacity of penetration testing & hardening. I had the good fortune of participating in one of the many roothack challenges on the same team as Epic and we enjoyed great success working together coming out on top and taking the field, securing our own system from penetration of all other teams and pushing out to penetrate a majority of the opposing team systems - it was an exhilarating experience. The legacy of Robert 'Epic' Allinson is one that will continue to be honored by all those you have ever touched with your knowledge, generosity and love. Long live the memory and community you worked so hard to build.
- Ryan (Teck7)
59. "Epic, there was a time when i knew nothing, and HDC and H3C were my only source of information, I remember posting in the forums and instead of being told to go and learn in the typical ego-rich hacker mentality, you gave me guidance, offered me advice and never ignored my questions, even after H3C went down your name always stuck with me, possibly because of your nature, EPiC by name, EPiC by nature i guess. You were a shining light in the dark times and I believe you have gone to a better place, just try to behave there :) You will be missed, and i hope where-ever you are, you know that you touched a lot of us, Go raibh mille maith agat a chairde," -Angelus
60. "Me (narc0sis) and a good friend of mine (nyct0ph0bia) was around alot for a long period of time. Robert always had alot of confidence in us whether it was deserved or not. I didn't have a clue up until just a few minutes ago when Kryptik informed me. It's a tragic loss. He was a brilliant mind and always inspired. I just wanted to send my condolences to someone, and didn't know where else for them to go. Let his family know he will be dearly missed please. If there is anyway I can show my respect please let me know. "
Jeremy / narc0sis
61. "Epic was the definition of what so many seek to be. A magnificent man of great acheivements. They will live on in all of us; He surpassed the ordinary, he truly was epic. Signing off as you know me.... " Kryptik
62 "I.. I don't even know what to write. I first came online searching for a refuge from the day-to-day incompetence/intolerence in the society. And what I found was a miracle. I found a place where I was judged by the way I talked and thought, not my age. I found a place where I could learn. I found refuge. The H3C community took me in - arms open. It saved me through many tough years. I looked up to you EPiC, both knowledge and personality wise. You influenced me alot. You gave me a place, you allowed me to grow. And you and the community formed me into the person I am today. I am sorry I missed your burial, would I have known about it I would have flewn in to be there. It would have been the least I could do. I'm sorry, so sorry."
The_deViL